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    Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

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    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Thu Mar 27, 2014 6:33 am

    Skill Name: Ultimate Breaker Style
    Skill Type: Champion Style
    Skill Information: The Ultimate Breaker Style is a style of hand to hand martial arts for exceptionally physically strong individuals. Because of the high strength requirements of some moves champions are best suited to using this fighting style. The attacks are generally slow but carry a powerful impact with them, however that's more of a generalization then a rule. The primary attacks are a mixture of crushing palm thrusts and and destructive punches. The idea for the fighting style was first conceived by a martial artist from long ago who witnessed the power of the Tremor Tremor No Mi and wanted to attempt to mimic it's powers, the result wasn't an exact replica and the destructive power of the Tremor Tremor No Mi could never be matched but several aspects are similar. Users are commonly refered to as "breakers".
    Skill Strengths:
    -Be a Man: Arc gains +10 Strength when physically hitting his opponent.
    -Bend and Break: Ark can easily break common stone, wood, iron and thin steel.
    -Fists of Haki: As a fighting style designed for the Champion class he constantly wields Armament Haki allowing him to hit logia users.
    Skill Weaknesses:
    -Close Range: Arc's attacks are limited to arms length range attacks only. With the exception of a single support skill.
    -Imperfect Technique: Finesse and precision were never among the strong suits of this style so Arc lose -10 Finesse when using this skill.
    -Excessive Hunger: Breakers are victims of a constant need for food and they cannot use their abilities on an empty stomach.
    -You can run but you can't hide!(not that you need to, running will work just fine): Breakers are notoriously slow not just in their attacks but in their movement speed as well. Arc loses -10 speed when using this skill



    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Breaker Palm
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive, Palm Strike
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 3 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc plants his feet and pulls back one arm and thrusts it forward at a target in an open palm strike. The force behind the attack is capable of shattering stone.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Armor can't save you: This attack can heavily damage armor in one blow and if the armor is weak enough attack straight through.
    -Bones or Stones: The Breaker Palm has the potential to break bones and if it hits critical location it can crush organs.
    -Shockwave: The force of this attack creates a small forward shock wave with a 1/2 meter range that does half the damage of this attack so people who dodge "just enough" still suffer some damage.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Recoil: The force of the attack recoils and does light damage to the user.
    -Close Range: Arc has already be close for this attack to work.
    -Impact Dial: Impact Dials are the bane of this attack and could be used to turn it against the user.
    -Watch the Fingers: For 2 posts after using Ark loses 5 reflex points.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Haki Sentinel
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Support Technique
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 12 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: The user claps their hands together and activates full body armament haki using exceptionally greater effort and focus into the haki to improve it's quality and strength above the normal stat boosts of Champion Haki. This gives them a 20 point endurance boost to the user and 10 strength points on top of their Champion Haki boosts for 2 posts.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Never Stop Being Stronger: User gains +10 strength for the duration of the ability.
    -Never Stop being Tougher: Arc gains +20 Endurance for the duration of the ability.
    -Finish him!: For a short time this ability gives Arc excessive power which he can use to land a mortal/finishing blow.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Slow down there tiger: When in use the user is slowed dramticaly their speed reduced by 5 speed points for the duration of the ability.
    Attack Speed Cut: Arc's lose -10 Reflexes for the duration of the ability.
    -After Effect: The -10 reflexes and -5 speed mentioned above continue for 3 posts.
    -I'm spent: This ability calls upon a great deal of haki power and by consequence Ark loses the ability to use armament haki for 3 posts after this ability ends.
    -Reheated Pizza Sucks: If used a second time in one thread the stat boost Arc get's is halved and the stat losses double.
    -Ranged Foes: With decreased speed and no ranged abilities this ability renders Arc a sitting duck to long distance fighters.
    -I live in a world made of card board: This ability gives Arc more strength then he knows what to do with so he is prone to accidental destruction. Destruction of what? Everything. That expensive vase, the wall, the ground, the ceiling, the buildings structural integrity. When this ability is used the house is coming down.
    -Don't push it: For the duration of this abilities effect Arc can't use any other abilities.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: THROW!
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Support
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 2 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc picks up one of his allies with both hands and throws them at the enemy. Alternativly he can try and pick up an enemy and throw them away.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Huston we have lift off: Arc has an impressive throwing arm capable of sending a full grown man flying for 20 meters.
    -Combo Move!: This 'technique' can help his ally get into good position for an attack, or to make them into an attack.
    -Last Person Off: On a crew loaded with devil fruit users Arc will likely be able to make good use of this if the ship is going down.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Please secure any loose or valuable items: Anyone thrown by this is prone to loose any loose or hand held items, which may be important. As it would be bad for a swordsmen being thrown at the enemy to drop their sword.
    -Logia: Try to throw a logia user with bare hands, I dare you.
    -Momentum knows neither friend nor foe: What has been thrown cannot be unthrown.
    -I think I pulled something...: For 1 post after usage Arc loses 5 reflex points.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Strauss Shield
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Defensive
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 6 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc holds his arms in front of him in an X-Shape and he tenses his muscles and coats himself in haki in preparation to block a blow. Lasts 2 posts or until cancelled.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Reinforced defense: When activated attacks that hit Ark are muffled so that when he is hit he takes damage as if the blows had 5 less strength behind them and if they hit his arms directly they are muffled for 15 points.
    -I need it now: Arc  can use this ability easily in the heat of the moment to stop an oncoming attack.
    -Unmoveable: True to his "Black Wall" epithet when Arc uses this move he cannot be moved unless by a great force(such as an enemy with strength 10 points over his endurance) or by his own will.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -All or nothing: Even if terminated early Arc still has to wait the full cooldown before using this again
    -Stop Shield Time: For the duration of this ability Ark's speed, finesse and reflexes are reduced to 0 by his his immobility.
    -Hold on there tiger: Even though Arc can lower his guard at will for the remainder of the post his speed is reduced by 50% if he does so.
    -The Elements: His body becomes harder but it's still a human body, his skin will still burn, he can still be electrocuted, he can still drown. There are still ways to hurt him without brute strength, just more indirect ways.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Dual Strike
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 3 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc throws two open palm strikes akin to his Breaker Palm ability at once.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -1, 2, death!: Two attacks dealing effectively twice the damage.
    -Bones or Stones: The Breaker Palm has the potential to break bones and if it hits critical location it can crush organs.
    -Shockwave: The force of this attack creates a small forward shock wave with a 1/2 meter range that does half the damage of this attack so people who dodge "just enough" still suffer some damage.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Recoil: The force of the attack recoils and does light damage to the user.
    -Close Range: Arc has already be close for this attack to work.
    -Impact Dial: Impact Dials are the bane of this attack and could be used to turn it against the user.
    -Watch the Fingers: For 4 posts after using Ark loses 10 reflex points. As dual palm does twice the damage as Breaker Palm naturally it has to have some big draw back to counter that, which comes in mostly here. In comparison to Breaker Palm the duration and magnitude of the reflex drain is twice as great.


    Last edited by Arc Highram on Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:19 pm; edited 7 times in total
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    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:15 pm

    Done, please check
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    Leon L.H.

    Administrator- Developer/Chatbox Moderator- Rank 1- Beta 3 Tester- Limited Edition Donor- Novice- Mythical Zoan Fruit User- Player-

    Lineage : Peacekeeper's Virtue

    Beli Beli : 275283
    Task Points : 16
    Divine Coins :
    Posts : 520
    Race : Human
    Gender : Male
    Crew : Heaven's Winter
    Affiliation : Pirate


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Hexel L Hellsing AKA The Red Piano
    Primary Skill: Akuma-Akuma No Mi; Model: Diablo
    Secondary Skill: Vengeance of Demon Slayers

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Leon L.H. on Sat Apr 05, 2014 12:57 am

    Correction will be in RED.

    Arc Highram wrote:Skill Name: Ancestral Sentinel Style
    Skill Type: Sword Style
    Skill Information: The Ancestral Sentinel Style is a sword style designed for those capable or taking heavy punishment. It focuses on getting close and going for quick kills even if it means taking a few hits. It also has several techniques to strengthen the body of the user to increase their ability to take punishment and give more punishment. It is also meant to allow the user to make themselves a human shield for their allies. Because this style of fighting is passed down through the Highram family for generations most of the techniques are named after masters of the style and Arc's ancestors who created them. - You have a sword style sir,,not a iron man style.
    Skill Strengths:
    -Strength of Steel: Users trained in the Ancestral Sentinel Style are trained to have bodies as strong as steel to withstand great punishment. - How is this a sword style?
    -Brutal Swordsmen Ship: The attacks of the Ancestral Sentinel Style can wreak serious havoc on a purpose in very few attacks.
    -Guardian Angel: The 'Sentinel' part comes into play in this style as it has techniques to turn the user into a human shield for their allies. - Human shield? what does that have to do with you being sword style. That is completely different style of fighting.
    Skill Weaknesses:
    -Recklessness: Users of this style tend to get hurt badly as it is very reckless and users are known to be careless. - this is not a weakness of a skill. more like weakness of your character.
    -Imperfect Technique: Unlike his ancestors Ark neglected his swordsmen ship training in favor of training his physical strength more so his swordsmen ship is lacking. - this is not a weakness of a skill. more like weakness of your character.
    -Pain Null: The style nulls the pain of the user, while this may seem like a perk at first in reality it just makes it harder for them to realize when they are pushing their limits and can cause them to get mortally wounded without being aware of how severe the wound is. - Ok,,, I don't know how this is sword style...really.
    -I shall not kill: While he has the power Ark was trained never to kill and sometimes this can screw up his attack as he struggles to not use lethal force but still use appropriate force. - - this is not a weakness of a skill. more like weakness of your character.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Balthazar Barrage
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive, Sword Attack
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 4 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: The user starts by striking the enemy's guard(or their face if they don't have guard up) with the pommel of the sword with great force to stun them, spinning around the target to get behind them and slash at their back feverishly 4 times.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Block this!: A stun/diversion strike followed by a well maneuvered spin and a combo attack from behind, this can be bad news for anyone who focuses on a frontward guard. - stunning is not allowed at lvl 1.
    -4x Strike: Arc can get a solid 4 hits in with this move to deal some real damage.
    -Good position: This attack also puts Arc in a good position for another attack.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Work on that spin boy: Ark's spin-movement leaves a bit to be desired so if the opponent isn't properly stunned by the first strike they can catch him in his spin. - not applicable since stunning is not allowed at lvl 1
    -Size Matters: This 'stun' attempt at the start of the combo won't go over well with stronger opponents.- not applicable since stunning is not allowed at lvl 1
    -Close Range: Arc has already be close for this attack to work.
    -Quantity over Quality: Arc just kind of lashes out 4 times when he attacks with this combo, each individual strike isn't that powerful only when they are all put together do they rack up the real damage.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Highram Sentinel
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Defensive Technique
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 8 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: The user sheathes their blade and claps their hands together. The user uses their strong command of their body and mind to enter a super human state, hardening their body like steel. This gives them a 20 point endurance boost to the user and 10 strength points for 3 posts. - ok...I like the idea, however, this doesn't seem like a sword tech.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Never Stop Being Stronger: A solid strength boost that can be used in conjunction with an attack to deal some serious damage.
    -Never Stop being Tougher: A large defensive boost that can make it much harder to damage Arc.
    -Guardian Angel: When used in the defense of another the 20 point endurance boost becomes a 30 point one.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    Slow down there tiger: When in use the user is slowed dramticaly their speed reduced to 60% of their normal speed. - we don't use %. change it to like 30 points or something
    Attack Speed Cut: While the blows become stronger they become slower, Arc's attacks moving at only 50% their normal speed. - this is same as your first weakness.
    -Flesh is still flesh: While he becomes much tougher and stronger his skin is still skin it can be burnt or shocked and stuff like that. - this is sword tech not like a tekkai where you blocking attacks using your entire body. not applicable.
    -Adrenaline friend or foe?: This move comes with an adrenaline rush, adrenaline rushes are things Arc tends to handle poorly and will cause him to act in a berserk and reckless fashion. - no. Again this is ability weakness not your character's weakness.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Spiral Power
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 4 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: In a big f-u to logic and physics Arc holds his sword in both hands and holds it front of him and starts spinning on his heels. For about a second he will spin like this rapidly accelerating forming a spiral of wind around him that will cut anything it touches. The spiral at it's base is 5 meters in diameter and it curves in as you go up so it's just a needle like tip at it's top height of 7 meters tall. Getting caught in the spiral tornado will launch a person upward while cutting them severely unless they have some way to move through it. Arc can maintain this for upwards of 15 seconds(about 1 post)
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Huston we have lift off: Getting hit by Arc's Spiral Power attack can send a person catapulting into the air. - how high?
    -Like sticking your hand in a meat grinder: Touching the spiral can shred flesh and bone, getting caught in it can be disastrous.
    -A shield of sorts: It becomes difficult to attack Arc in this state.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -F-U physics!: Pseudo science is always trumped by actual science, when clashed against a skill that actually makes sense this attack can be over powered. - skill that makes sense? every skill makes sense. make new weakness.
    -Pros don't get dizzy: Sadly Arc is not a pro and tends to get dizzy after using this - for how long?
    -Logia: A logia user could just pass through the spiral and attack Arc while he is vulnerable - no. Logia user will be cut up, and will attack you even when you are not vulnerable since they won't get physically hurt unless you use haki.
    -Momentum knows neither friend nor foe: While doing this Arc is incapable of seeing, hearing, or really interacting in anyway with anything out side the spiral. He could easily hurt someone he isn't trying too.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Strauss Shield
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Defensive
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 4 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc holds his sword in front of him with one hand and put's his other hand on the back of the blade and he tenses his muscles and coats himself and his sword in haki in preparation to block a blow. Lasts 2 posts or until cancelled.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Reinforced defense: When activated Ark's endurance is increased by 20 and attacks that hit his blade(unless they are exceptionally powerful - how much is exceptionally powerful?) are nullified. - nullified? negative.
    -I need it now: Arc  can use this ability easily in the heat of the moment to stop an oncoming attack.
    -Unmoveable: True to his "Black Wall" epithet when Arc uses this move he cannot be moved unless by a great force or by his own will. - what do you mean great force? opponents with +10 more strength than your endurance?
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:

    - Because you are gaining +20 endurance, you need to balance it out by losing some stats.

    -All or nothing: Even if terminated early Arc still has to wait the full cooldown before using this again
    -Only so strong: While it's a good block, it's not perfect. Opponents of exceptional strength will be able to harm Arc regardless of the shield. - again how much is exceptional strength? +10 more strength than you?
    -Hold on there tiger: Even though Arc can nullify the shield at will for the remainder of the post his speed is reduced by 50% if he does so. - take out the nullify. It's haki, it doesn't nullify attacks. It allows you to cause greater defense or attack logia users, but not nullify.
    -Now would be a really bad time for an earthquake: The environment around Arc isn't invulnerable and attacks capable of damaging the ground or his environment could be used to trap or potentially harm Arc.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Mountains Will Fall
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive, Haki, Sword Attack
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 1 use per thread
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc grips his sword with both hands and pulls back gathering all of his strength into one attack. He then lets loose in a powerful horizontal slash capable of cleaving through steel and stone alike. The force of the attack sends out a sharpened shock wave 6 feet long and a foot tall with a range of 20 meters. The shock wave is also very powerful, although not as much as the initial attack.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -1, 2, 3 death!: This attack has decimating power that shreds through most materials. It can hurt a person insanely bad.
    -Shockwave: The force of the attack actually carries past the initial swing creating a large shock wave that gives the attack some actual long range potential.
    -This is my full power: This attack carries 20 more strength behind it then Arc's normal attacks.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -This is my full power, all of it: This attack carries super natural strength, but it's all Arc is capable of. Once used he is left incredibly drained and he doesn't have any attack near as powerful so it's safe to say if you can survive this attack you win the fight. - not a weakness. you won't have any attacks near as powerful? that's not a ability weakness, thats your character's weakness.
    -One Shot Wonder: This slash takes up too much of Arc's energy to be used more then once a thread.
    -Logia has a chance: While the initial slash is haki coated so it can harm logia users, the shockwave can't carry the haki so the shockwave won't hurt logia users.
    -After shock is never as impressive as the initial burst: The shockwave while it serves as a dangerous after effect of the attack it doesn't have the power to cut steel or stone, it maxes out at wood.
    -Still only rookie power: While this attack can cause some serious trouble for people on the same level as Arc, higher grade pirates are likely to fare better. - of course. Take this weakness out.
    -A lack of finese: Arc isn't the most elegant fighter so a particularly fast and graceful individual may be able to exploit Arc's slower, rougher movements to avoid the attack or even counter attack. - you can say, opponents with +10 more reflexes than skill user's speed can counter attack.
    -Timing is Key: Arc has to be in combat for at least 4 posts before he can use this attack.


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    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Sat Apr 05, 2014 10:18 pm

    Thanks for taking the time to check my skill application, but readying your comments I feel the ancestral sword style was a broken concept from the get go and have reattempted using your advice to make something better.
    avatar
    Leon L.H.

    Administrator- Developer/Chatbox Moderator- Rank 1- Beta 3 Tester- Limited Edition Donor- Novice- Mythical Zoan Fruit User- Player-

    Lineage : Peacekeeper's Virtue

    Beli Beli : 275283
    Task Points : 16
    Divine Coins :
    Posts : 520
    Race : Human
    Gender : Male
    Crew : Heaven's Winter
    Affiliation : Pirate


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Hexel L Hellsing AKA The Red Piano
    Primary Skill: Akuma-Akuma No Mi; Model: Diablo
    Secondary Skill: Vengeance of Demon Slayers

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Leon L.H. on Sun Apr 06, 2014 7:21 pm

    Corrections will be in RED

    Arc Highram wrote:Skill Name: Ultimate Breaker Style
    Skill Type: Champion Style
    Skill Information: The Ultimate Breaker Style is a style of hand to hand martial arts for exceptionally physically strong individuals. Because of the high strength requirements of some moves champions are best suited to using this fighting style. The attacks are generally slow but carry a powerful impact with them, however that's more of a generalization then a rule. The primary attacks are a mixture of crushing palm thrusts and and destructive punches. The idea for the fighting style was first conceived by a martial artist from long ago who witnessed the power of the Tremor Tremor No Mi and wanted to attempt to mimic it's powers, the result wasn't an exact replica and the destructive power of the Tremor Tremor No Mi could never be matched but several aspects are similar. Users are commonly refered to as "breakers".
    Skill Strengths:
    -Be a Man: Anyone with 10 less endurance then Arc has strength will has a great deal of difficulty blocking and taking his attacks. - change it to, Arc gains +10 Strength when physically hitting his opponent. It's hard to determine if someone is having hard time blocking someone's attack. By gaining +10 Strength added when you physically hitting them, ensures that your attack is more powerful.
    -Bend and Break: Stone, wood, iron and thin steel have nothing on Arc and he will have little trouble smashing through them. - reword this to, Arc can break and smash through common stone, wood, iron, and thin steel.
    -Fists of Haki: As a fighting style designed for the Champion class he constantly wields Armament Haki allowing him to hit logia users.
    Skill Weaknesses:
    -Close Range: Arc's attacks are limited to close range attacks only.
    -Imperfect Technique: Finesse and precision were never among the strong suits of this style and individuals of greater finesse and reflexes may be able to use this to take Arc down. - reword this to, Arc lose -10 Finesse when using this skill.
    -Pain Null: The style nulls the pain of the user, while this may seem like a perk at first in reality it just makes it harder for them to realize when they are pushing their limits and can cause them to get mortally wounded without being aware of how severe the wound is. - put the "the style nulls the pain of the user" under strength.
    And reword the weakness to, It only nulls the pain of the user for 3 posts. After 3 posts, user can't use that limb due to using the damage limb continuously. or something alike. If not change it to something else. You need to specify what will happen to those limbs after you nulls the pain. What if I broke your leg, and you keep using your leg, eventually your leg will die out and can't use it no more.

    -You can run but you can't hide!(not that you need to, running will work just fine): Breakers are notoriously slow not just in their attacks but in their movement speed as well. - reword this to Arc lose -10 Speed when using this skill.


    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Breaker Palm
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive, Palm Strike
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 3 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc plants his feet and pulls back one arm and thrusts it forward at a target in an open palm strike. The force behind the attack is capable of shattering stone.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Blocking isn't your best plan: Unless his target has endurance 10 points higher then (than) Arc's strength blocks from them won't be effective. - I suggest you make new strength. By this mean, if I have 10 more endurance than your strength, this ability is useless against me. How much damage one take depends on their endurance and the attacker's strength, just because they have 10 less endurance won't make their block effective against your attack.
    -Bones or Stones: The Breaker Palm has the potential to break bones and if it hits critical location it can crush organs.
    -Ready Steady Go: The Breaker Palm has a short cooldown so it can be used several times in one fight. - not an applicable strength. make new one.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:

    you need at least 3 weakness. Second, make sure to balance out your weakness and your strength.

    -Close Range: Arc has already be close for this attack to work.


    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Haki Sentinel
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Defensive Technique - change it to support.
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 8 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: The user claps their hands together and activates full body armament haki using exceptionally greater effort and focus into the haki to improve it's quality and strength above the normal stat boosts of Champion Haki. This gives them a 20 point endurance boost to the user and 10 strength points on top of their Champion Haki boosts for 2 posts.

    Just let you know you gain + 30 Strength & Finesse when armament activated.,, plus 20 endurance and 10 strength,,that's 90 stat boost right there. that's pretty op at lvl 1 tech don't you think. Unless you can balance out the weakness of this ability, I suggest you change it to something else.

    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Never Stop Being Stronger: A solid strength boost that can be used in conjunction with an attack to deal some serious damage. - reword this to, user gains +10 strength for the duration of the ability.
    -Never Stop being Tougher: A large defensive boost that can make it much harder to damage Arc. - reword this to, Arc gains +20 Endurance for the duration of the ability.
    -Finish him!: For a short time this ability gives Arc excessive power which he can use to land a mortal/finishing blow.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:

    Slow down there tiger: When in use the user is slowed dramticaly their speed reduced by 10 speed points - add "for the duration of the ability."
    Attack Speed Cut: While the blows become stronger they become slower, Arc's reaction stat is reduced by 5 - change it to "Arc's lose -5 Reflexes for the duration of the ability."
    -Make it Count: Haki Sentinel lasts only for a short while(two posts) and has a large cool down. - not an applicable weakness.
    -Focus Padawan: This ability takes far greater effort and energy then basic Armament Haki for Arc and for 3 posts after it's usage he will be left moving sluggishly and feeling weak. So the stat reductions of his first two weaknesses carry on for that time even after the attack is over.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: THROW!
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Support
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 2 posts
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc picks up one of his allies with both hands and throws them at the enemy. Alternativly he can try and pick up an enemy and throw them away. - Make new ability. You are a close combat user, since you are a champion. Try making some ability that is relevant to that.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Huston we have lift off: Arc has an impressive throwing arm capable of sending a full grown man flying for 20 meters.
    -Combo Move!: This 'technique' can help his ally get into good position for an attack, or to make them into an attack.
    -Last Person Off: On a crew loaded with devil fruit users Arc will likely be able to make good use of this if the ship is going down.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Please secure any loose or valuable items: Anyone thrown by this is prone to loose any loose or hand held items, which may be important. As it would be bad for a swordsmen being thrown at the enemy to drop their sword.
    -Logia: Try to throw a logia user with bare hands, I dare you.
    -Momentum knows neither friend nor foe: What has been thrown cannot be unthrown.
    -I think I pulled something...: For 1 post after usage Arc loses 5 reflex points.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Strauss Shield
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Defensive
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 4 posts - change it to 6 posts.
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc holds his arms in front of him in an X-Shape and he tenses his muscles and coats himself and his sword in haki in preparation to block a blow. Lasts 2 posts or until cancelled. - take out the sword.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -Reinforced defense: When activated Ark's endurance is increased by 20 and attacks that hit his arms are muffled to lose 10 strength points. - take out lose 10 strength. How can I lose -10 strength by just hitting you? look, I punch you with all my might, my strength is still the same, you might not feel it's full power because you have higher defense.
    -I need it now: Arc can use this ability easily in the heat of the moment to stop an oncoming attack. Just let you know, noticing on coming attack is based on your reflexes and defending it fast enough to block it is based on your speed. don't need to change.
    -Unmoveable: True to his "Black Wall" epithet when Arc uses this move he cannot be moved unless by a great force(such as an enemy with strength 20 points (change it to 10) over his boosted endurance) or by his own will.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -All or nothing: Even if terminated early Arc still has to wait the full cooldown before using this again
    -Only so strong: While it's a good block, it's not perfect. Opponents of exceptional strength(such as an enemy with strength 20 points over his boosted endurance) will be able to harm Arc regardless of the shield. - take out exceptional strength, and change it to +10 strength instead of 20.
    -Hold on there tiger: Even though Arc can lower his guard at will for the remainder of the post his speed is reduced by 50% if he does so.
    -Now would be a really bad time for an earthquake: The environment around Arc isn't invulnerable and attacks capable of damaging the ground or his environment could be used to trap or potentially harm Arc. - how so? you can't move while this ability is active? you can simply move to dodge these attacks. make new weakness.

    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Asura Palm
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Offensive, Spirit Projection
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 1 use per thread
    Ability Lvl 1 Description: Arc spreads his feet wide, closes his eyes and claps his hands together. In his mind he visualizes four extra arms on his body, in his mind they appear also clapped together so there are three sets of clapped together hands stacked on top of each other. Then by projecting his spirit he makes the arms semi-tangible so that they become more real allowing people to see them at this stage however they are just illusions. To further solidify them Arc coats the semi-tangible extra arms in Haki to give them a solid presence. Now they are solid and can be used to attack. Arc can either use this to execute one extremely powerful attack(one blow with all six hands dealing 6x the damage of his Breaker Palm) or use it as a "super form" of sorts and use the arms as a way to attack faster(gives him a 10 point reflex, finesse and speed boost on top of having 4 extra arms) and harder(+5 strength as well) -- this requires you to have higher intelligence. you have 0. Intelligence measures your ability to invent, be a strategist, provide medical help to others And store information with a much higher recall rate. It is also said that People with high intelligence can see the future and do things that others can not in terms of psychic phenomenon. make new ability.
    Ability Lvl 1 Strengths:
    -1, 2, 3 death!: This attack has decimating power that shreds through most materials. It can hurt a person insanely bad. (Assuming he uses it for the single attack variation)
    -Accelerate: Using the second variation of the attack Arc attacks much faster and can attack multiple times at once.
    -Ultimate Power to Suit your Needs: Any way you look at it this is Arc's most powerful ability and conveniently it's multi-functional and can provided a powerful boost in two different ways to best suit the situation.
    Ability Lvl 1 Weaknesses:
    -Are you ready yet?: This attack takes 30 seconds time to prepare and until then Arc is vulnerable to attack as he is required to be in a meditative stance and cannot pay attention to the material world. (I am aware normally time is measured in posts, but the prep for this attack is just concentration. I doubt anyone wants to read multiple full length posts of Arc "concentrating".)
    -One Shot Wonder: This ability takes up too much of Arc's energy to be used more then once a thread.
    -Still only rookie power: While this attack can cause some serious trouble for people on the same level as Arc, higher grade pirates are likely to fare better.
    -Timing is Key: Arc has to be in combat for at least 4 posts before he can use this attack.
    -That's all I got: Manifesting 4 arms out of nothing is no easy feat and causes Ark to suffer a stat loss mirrored to the stat gain he gets while using the Asura Palm for 3 posts afterwards.


    _______________________
    ACHIEVEMENTS!

    * First player to create a task and finished it.
    * First player to receive the rewards for completing a task.
    * First and the Last player who received 10 Stat points for completing a task.
    * Second player to create a Skill and got it approved.
    * First Player to get Mythical Zoan user.
    * Second Highest Bounty

    Signatures:

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    Wanted Poster:




    My Theme Song:





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    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Fri Jul 11, 2014 7:04 am

    Updated abilities according to provided specifications.

    Replaced Asura Palm with Dual Palm. However I would like to keep "Throw!" I know it goes against the theme of my skill set a bit but I would like to keep it so that Ark can have a little diversity in his skills.
    avatar
    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Mon Jul 21, 2014 3:16 am

    bump
    avatar
    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Fri Jul 25, 2014 4:06 am

    bump
    avatar
    Hexisdabest

    Moderator- Rank 1- Paramecia Fruit User- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 88774
    Task Points : 7
    Posts : 225
    Race : Human
    Gender : Male
    Crew : Adamant Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Alexander Hexller
    Primary Skill: Daia Daia no Mi
    Secondary Skill: Uchikudaku Bojutsu

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Hexisdabest on Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:13 pm

    Equalize the stats you gain. For example, if you gain a boost of +10 in your strengths, you should get a decrease of -10 on any other stat (strength, speed, endurance, etc.). So basically, on how much stat you gain is the same amount of stat you loose.

    Also, Please edit your range in as shown in this example and according to the sites preset range classification Close range 0-10 meters. Mid range, 15-25 and long range 30-40.

    Example:
    Ability Lvl 1 Name: Gum Gum Pistol
    Ability Lvl 1 Type: Melee mid/close ranged (0 - 20 metres)
    Ability Lvl 1 Cooldown: 2


    avatar
    Arc Highram

    Rank 1- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 47975
    Task Points : 2
    Posts : 81
    Gender : Male
    Crew : The Infinite Horizon Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate!


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Arc Highram
    Primary Skill: Ultimate Breaker Style Martial Arts
    Secondary Skill: Tekkai Kenpo

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Arc Highram on Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:17 pm

    I altered Strauss Shield so it no longer provides a stat boost but rather muffles damage.

    Then I tried to equalize the stats on Haki Sentinal. However Haki Sentinal boosts my strength and endurance for a total larger then I can lose from finesse, reflexes and speed combined. So to balance this I gave reflexes a -10 and speed a -5 then gave them an after shock duration.

    So while I gain 30 stat points for 2 post I lose 15 stat points for 5 posts. Fair?

    Regarding Ranges: The range of all my attacks are "Arms Length"(with the exception of "THROW!" that I gave a separately listed range already) Can I just list that in my general weaknesses and call it good?
    avatar
    Hexisdabest

    Moderator- Rank 1- Paramecia Fruit User- Player-

    Lineage : Will of the Adventurer

    Beli Beli : 88774
    Task Points : 7
    Posts : 225
    Race : Human
    Gender : Male
    Crew : Adamant Pirates
    Affiliation : Pirate


    Character Profile
    Character Name: Alexander Hexller
    Primary Skill: Daia Daia no Mi
    Secondary Skill: Uchikudaku Bojutsu

    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

    Post by Hexisdabest on Mon Jul 28, 2014 1:16 pm

    Everything seems to be fine,

     photo 3500b158-f80b-4087-b0c6-300e5cf30e95_zpsb2d8d272.jpg


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    Re: Ultimate Breaker Style[REDONE. Please Check.]

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